I need to highjack my own blog for a moment. I’ve been reading a lot lately and thought that I should write something about all those faith and feminism blogs on the purity culture.
Kids(teens, adolescents) know how to wait for appropriate times before engaging in sexual activity. They know what they are not ready for, they are being taught a lot of things but also want to know what is happening with their own bodies. Hopefully along the way they get the mental tools to say no, get consent, and take necessary precautions to prevent pregnancy and the spread of disease.
The fundamentalist evangelicals aren’t even teaching the basics that everyone should know, often what is taught is false information. Grown women in the 18-21 range don’t known how they got pregnant, weird stories exist about them thinking the seed like a watermelon seed passes via mouth from the man to woman or that the belly button opens up so the baby can crawl out, even just love causes pregnancy. It’s also difficult to keep up with the misinformation spreading, unfortunately women are often taught that men have no self control and that women have to be the gate keeper. Some of this may be left over stories taught during childhood with no age appropriate updates and proper sex education along the way.
There has to be a way to teach a healthy sex education without it becoming just a way to shame people which seems to be the tactics or methods used in various ministries. This will be multiple talks at multiple times to educate and create a safe place to use proper names for body parts. Parents often don’t know what to teach because they didn’t receive correct information, resources can be scarce. Don’t lie to kids, use age appropriate descriptions. and words. As my old philosophy professor said: if you’re not teaching your kids then someone else will. If you don’t teach kids properly they will find out on their own often from misinformation and unreliable sources, in other words their sources will be older siblings, friends, social media, and porn. When you are taught about your body you also have control over your body, you know when someone abuses you, and even how to take control of your own pleasure.
Parents need to create an environment where kids can talk to them about anything. You may cringe on the inside, or even be surprised that boys will be more emotional than the girls, but keep that to yourself and just let them talk. You don’t have to have answers or advice, just listening does wonders. Often anyone that has to be around youth will learn quickly to let them talk and occasionally parrot back things that needs clarification in case you heard it wrong. You’re going to hear a lot. Toxic and judgemental parents will destroy relationships.
Vague descriptions can and will cause problems even misunderstandings. If all you mention is wrestling or laying on top of someone then even a 7 year old would think they are having sex during innocent times. Someone out there literally puts a condom on a banana before bedtime with their partner not ever making the connection as to where it should actually go. Some people will condemn others who “sleep together” but leave out any meaning so kids who have slept in close proximity to someone may think they are guilty of something even though they are innocent. The term “sleeping together” is a common euphemism, the meaning is vague since it can range from sex to literally just being in the state of sleep in proximity to someone else. Such vagueness causes misunderstandings. There are so many more examples. Consent, personal responsibility, and respect can’t be vague either.
It’s a cop-out to just tell kids to don’t have sex. Youth face so many situations that the actual act of sex is the least of their problems. Teaching and talking about consent, personal responsibility, and respectful behavior would go a long way. Often, as in very often, parents and others who had sex before marriage even resulting in pregnancy are the ones insisting on teaching abstinence and have it taught. I remember that one fundamentalist preacher’s kid with the help of a girlfriend at the time did the math and figured out his parents were married sometime after he was conceived. Another fundy family started a crisis pregnancy center after the teenage daughter got pregnant. The list of examples can go on and on. The doublestandard also goes for those who sexually abuse and harass. Churches have just as many pregnancies, sexual activity, divorce, etc as the rest of society, the numbers might skew higher though. As much as there is a push for abstinence, it blows their minds when a person says they don’t want to have sex, it defeats their argument. On a side note, parents sending their kids to Christian schools/colleges are the ones who never went to one themselves, often the reason is due to racism and prestige, but that’s another story for another day. Speaking of double standards, conservative politicians who ban abortion and vote to end transgender healthcare and push white evangelical values often get caught in three way relationships or with sex workers or just committing crimes they accuse the other party of doing.
Sex? Sexual intercourse? Neither? Teens weigh in on evolving definitions — and habits “For years, studies have shown a decline in the rates of American high school students having sex. That trend continued, not surprisingly, in the first years of the pandemic, according to a recent survey by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The study found that 30% of teens in 2021 said they had ever had sex, down from 38% in 2019 and a huge drop from three decades ago, when more than half of teens reported having sex.” “The language of young love and lust, and the actions behind it, are evolving. And the shift is not being adequately captured in national studies, experts say.” “For teens today, the conversation about sexuality is moving from a binary situation to a spectrum and so are the kinds of sex people are having. And while the vocabulary around sex is shifting, the main question on the CDC survey has been worded the same way since the government agency began its biannual study in 1991: Have you “ever had sexual intercourse?”” ““Honestly, that question is a little laughable,” says Kay, 18, who identifies as queer and attends a public high school near Lansing, Michigan. “There’s probably a lot of teenagers who are like, ‘No, I’ve never had sexual intercourse, but I’ve had other kinds of sex.’”” They point to another finding in this year’s study that found the proportion of high school kids who identify as heterosexual dropped to about 75%, down from about 89% in 2015, when the CDC began asking about sexual orientation. Meanwhile, the share who identified as lesbian, gay or bisexual rose to 15%, up from 8% in 2015.” “Several experts said they hoped the decline could be partly attributed to a broader understanding of consent and an increase in “comprehensive” sex education being taught in many schools, which has become a target in ongoing culture wars.” “Unlike abstinence-only programs, the lessons include discussion on understanding healthy relationships, gender identity, sexual orientation and preventing unplanned pregnancies and sexually transmitted infections. Contrary to what critics think, she said, young people are more likely to delay the onset of sexual activity if they have access to sex education.” “To get a truly accurate reading of teen sexuality, the evolution of language needs to be taken into account, says Dr. John Santelli, a Columbia University professor who specializes in adolescent sexuality.” ““The word intercourse used to have another meaning,” he points out. “Intercourse used to just mean talking.”” How ironic, now after making-out or more will just say they were talking.
How one author is aspiring to make sex education more relatable for today’s kids
The case for starting sex ed in kindergarten (hula hoops recommended) Often kids ask basic questions: can boys get pregnant, when do you start using tampons, etc. “When most people think of sex ed, those are the lessons that often come to mind. But comprehensive sex ed goes beyond that. It’s defined by sex ed advocates as a science-based, culturally and age-appropriate set of lessons that start in early grades and go through the end of high school. It covers sexuality, human development, sexual orientation and gender, bodily autonomy and consent, as well as relationship skills and media literacy.” Hula hoops are helpful to teach consent, as in who is allowed in your space. So often consent is overlooked especially along with teaching boundaries.
What is purity culture? Purity culture is basically a while American evangelical/fundamentalist abstinence movement, it comes out of a patriarchal society, where males are the dominate. It does assume that gender is binary, sorry LGBTQIA isn’t recognized by this. Males are expected to live up to the masculine standards. Everyone is sexless until marriage, that even means don’t think about it, as if that’s possible. It’s about following the rules rather than following Jesus, the source of those rules are from others rather than Jesus. It blows their minds if someone doesn’t want sex.
The Flaw at the Center of Purity Culture
The Controversy Over Teaching Teens About Sex
You’re Not the Boss of Me, part 2 Guilt // Andy Stanley My past will remind me; it will not define me… (Romans 8:1 So now there is no condemnation…)
Here is the thing. I never really knew that is what they called it, purity culture. Over the years I’ve seen and heard it all about some of the ideas that have been used to support the purity culture. Scare tactics are common, usually with a story or anecdote about a surprise pregnancy or even being alone with the opposite sex, mostly playing on emotions. Often they just end up scared to be alone with a partner rather than establishing healthy boundaries. And I really don’t agree with that approach and I have a theology degree. I can say what I want on the subject even if it won’t sell books or be popular, research is so easy now and there are a few links in this blog post to get you started. The fundamentalists took over the evangelicals replacing progress with draconian ideologies. The purity culture has been so damaging to the developing minds of many teens and young adults. There is so much lack of actual correct sexual education information among the evangelicals. A comprehensive sex education would give people tools and an understanding of their bodies and be better prepared to discuss with a partner what is happening in the moment. There have been cases of individuals who have put condoms on a banana and then wondered what to do with that while with a partner, but seriously sex education really has to go into more depth. Oh, I did study youth ministry and when this came up ever so often the subject is ignored or pushed aside as if teaching abstinence only is enough. Teaching and talking about consent, personal responsibility, and respectful behavior would go a long way.
What I did learn is that basically there are some who see it as their mission to put down any one who does not meet their standards or ideals. Which by the way sounds just like toxic masculinity which degrades anyone who does not meet their standards or ideals. BTW this the same approach is found in politics among far-right extremists which are white nationalists, white supremacists, racists, neo-nazi, and other hate-groups. And who really could ever meet those standards any way? Jesus was homeless and hung out with all kinds of unsavory and ordinary people.
Slut shaming has to end, that kind of bullying is just mean and is uncalled for and is immature. Mostly it’s based on false accusations directed at someone…
When the church that people do see loves them, then those people will understand that the God they don’t see loves them.
Let’s take a moment to look at slut shaming. If a person decided to keep the baby, in a church and even society she will be shamed with phrases such as she should have kept her legs closed, she won’t be a good mother, another dumb teenager/young adult. At the grocery store she’ll get dirty looks for using WIC/EBT, snide remarks about their tax money being spent will be made. Lectures and guilt trip sermons from churches will happen before help is given. This is just atrocious, we can say better and do better for people. What if it was your mom being told this? Would you say this stuff to your mom, about your mom?
There was plenty of misinformation and myths shared when I was young, today isn’t much better with internet access and the use of apps. Whether you are a person of faith or not, parents and teens are worried about sharing photos of their private body parts, also how to deal with bullying, and even their social image/status. While the parents worry that their teens may have sex, young men are being bombarded with social pressure to not only always be ready for sex but also to have more and more partners. Young women are being raised to believe that’s what masculinity is, so guess what happens because women want sex just as much as guys do. In reality the number of teens having sex is on the decline, increased education may be a factor, learning about consent also means being equipped to say no until later, or even the definition of sex has shifted where people don’t include sexual activities with that of intercourse. Marriage is definitely on the decline too.
Let’s look at the development of masculinity. The tide has shifted from the compassionate caretaker of the late 1800’s as the work force moved from the family ventures to factories with society changes in the 1900’s. If you work in a factory there is the realization that anyone could do the job no matter the gender so maybe the idea of masculinity grew out of that era to keep workers working. Much of the rhetoric from churches and lecture ministries harken back to the masculinity that came out of that dehumanizing era and along with backlash to women’s rights as they finally got the vote. By the 1950’s the push for a masculine archetype, the emergence of hyper masculine sexuality, was used to appeal to a minority of people who wanted this type of emphasis to justify the prejudice of “othering” people. Ironically, the very ones who push this hyper masculine sexuality are often involved in the very acts they claim to oppose, it’s as if they have to prove themselves. This form of masculinity has more to do with promoting an ideal, having sex with whomever as long as the ideal masculine person is doing it with power. The Romans had a similar concept, notice they aren’t around anymore. Young men are more often left to figure out masculinity among peers in a Lord of the Flies method leading to a more toxic environment than they are from parents who don’t know what type of masculinity to teach. Can we say generation gap?!? With the invention of the car and cruising came along the toxic masculinity line of “put out or get out”. There are young men who don’t buy into the hypersexual masculinity as their own truth yet face social pressure to be a part of the toxic masculinity. Young men do find that they can be open and share emotions with women while that is considered taboo among other men, often the rhetoric from church members and leadership in purity culture is to separate the sexes when they could be developing healthy boundaries and behavior. Women shouldn’t be the only one gate keeping sex, it’s ok for the men to say no. The feminist approach is to share equally the responsibility of emotional connection, physical attraction is still a consideration as well as numerous others considerations such gender, intellect, and more. It’s emotionally draining for people who don’t model their life after sexist toxic masculinity yet have to see the damage it does in other people’s lives especially in those they care about. Often women are taught they are supposed to endure the toxic masculinity perhaps hoping to change them and to overlook emotional connections that have lasting values. I’ve known far too many women who end up putting their self worth into the size of their breasts, hair color, or how pretty they look when sexuality starts with confidence, be yourself and own it. Another reality is that many churches don’t know what to do with adults until they get married, that is if they even get married, and it’s ok to be single. Also the subject of sex is dropped altogether or changes to euphemisms to disguise toxic hypersexual masculinity. The Bible is full of adults and their sexual activities, the Hebrews were very aware of sex and sexuality, when the family lives in one room houses or tents all I’m saying is that the walls are thin, not to mention what all you see growing up on a farm with animals mating. Just telling teens to abstain from sex is the least of their problems, if you have sex then you are ostracized and if you don’t have sex you are ostracized.
Don’t Say Gay: A Queer History Historians Heather Cox Richardson and Joanne Freeman discuss the history of how sexuality has been viewed in the US as nearly 250 ANTI-LGBTQ bills have been introduced in States. By the 1950’s the push for a masculine archetype, the emergence of hyper masculine sexuality, was used to appeal to a minority of people who wanted this type of emphasis to justify the prejudice of “othering” people. Ironically, the very ones who push this hyper masculine sexuality are often involved in the very acts they claim to oppose, it’s as if they have to prove themselves. This form of masculinity has more to do with promoting an ideal, having sex with whomever as long as the ideal masculine person is doing it with power. The Romans had a similar concept, notice they aren’t around anymore. In this podcast they mention Boston marriages and the lavender scare.
Teen girls and LGBTQ+ youth plagued by violence and trauma, survey says From a CDC report in 2023.
What is Purity Culture and Why it is Extremely Damaging To Young Girls and Women
How the ‘extreme abstinence’ of the purity movement created a sense of shame in evangelical women
My question is… Why the hell are you even interested in how people should dress or what they do between the sheets? Why are others wanting to be all judgmental? The issue I see is that some want to bring shame on those who wear the wrong thing or do something outside of marriage. Dolly Parton wrote about slut shaming in 1968, Just Because I’m a Woman … Also she wrote about corporate and company abuses in 9 to 5 that is still relevant today especially with the metoo movement… She even had a break down from the stress of what people projected upon her.
The #GirlLove Challenge lift each other up. girl-on-girl hate is terrible
There’s a vaccine for HPV, the virus causes cervical cancer for women along with throat, penile, and anal cancer in men. It’s now preventable, yet some argue that getting the vaccine leads to girls having sex or what ever mental gymnastics idea pops up as an excuse to not get the vaccine. There are other vaccines and shots that get ignored. There are several strains of HPV, so getting the vaccine will protect against the dangerous strains. Waiting until you get married as an excuse is no guarantee that your partner hasn’t caught an STD from someone else or even from abuse. Men often pass on HPV to wives who are the ones who later develop cervical cancer. Even girls having sex with other girls will spread STDs. So the advice here is to get available vaccines as early as possible. Also seek out information from your doctor and local clinics. As of 2023, the cases for HPV have gone down thanks to the vaccine.
Single shaming is a real thing that most don’t put up with. Just because a person is single does not mean others can make decisions for them based on assumptions. If people don’t tolerate it in the working world, then they definitely won’t tolerate it at a church. Our laws and practices have to keep up with changes. IVF has changed lives of couples who have desired children. Now, IVF is changing the options for single women, for both gay and straight. A single woman shouldn’t have to repeatedly explain to any new church group she attends or new people she meets that her child was the result of IVF. I don’t think those holding to the purity culture think outside the possibilities of how one can become pregnant. Health care laws and adoption standards have to be continuously updated to stay at pace with what trends people are actually doing. There may be other situations for single people to be raising children, such as raising orphaned family members, a godchild, or your best friend’s child. Basically we need to respect people and not make assumptions about their sex lives. Sex does not even have to happen for someone to get pregnant and definitely doesn’t have to happen if you are adopting.
I eventually started to think that some of my own experiences were way off bad. I don’t want to go in to details but I like a good snogging. I won’t lie that it doesn’t come around often enough for my tastes. Just hours of snogging and playing around, it’s just so much fun with some one you love. Nibbling on her neck, caressing her cheek, and maybe even playfully exploring her ticklish spots… wait, what was I talking about. Oh, yeah… how people are the ones bringing shame. Good thing God forgives, but I have learned that people do not like to forgive or forget things. And who cares what they think, right!
The purity culture finds its roots in a dysfunctional church that wants to fix its’ people instead of allowing the creator to have authority.
The creator has the authority and is ever so forgiving, while this purity culture dysfunction does not through it’s control tactics. That is a real issue.
This purity culture thing follows some strange logic, mental gymnastics, that basically means that even normal thoughts can be considered bad. Well, they don’t exactly differentiate between lust and normal human thoughts that we were made to have to appreciate beauty and a person as a whole. Lust is when you go beyond into obsession like scheming to have sex or worse, really like the toxic masculinity culture. You just can’t win with the downward spiral of trying to avoid what comes naturally. There will always be something new that can be used to judge the next level of standards. It will be an ongoing cycle, no one would be allowed to ever have contact with another human again just to avoid any thought. Wait, that’s what they do at monasteries. This train of thought could lead to a lot of unhealthy issues to even try to keep up with the purity culture. It will lead to some crazy ideas to even begin to fit in to that way of thinking. Matthew 5:27-30 has Jesus placing the blame on the one lusting, not the victim.
Has any one ever read Max Lucado’s book You Are Special? It applies to this situation. The characters spend their time applying dots to those that mess up. Punchinello messes up so often, that she gets dots for having dots. Soon she meets the maker who doesn’t focus on the dots. Eventually with some encouragement the dots begin to fall off.
It’s more important to have an open heart than it is to follow the rules…
The Virginity Myth A TED talks video with Nina Brochmann and Ellen Dahl. If you have to know if someone is a virgin, just ask, but the answer is that person’s business not yours.
Emily Joy’s What is Purity Culture? #stillpurityculture
Important Must Read: Your Child’s Virginity is NONE of Your Business Purity does nothing to teach about consent and bodily anatomy, it doesn’t even teach anything about post marriage communication. Your child’s virginity is none of your business, but giving them the tools they will need for adulthood absolutely is your business.
Relationships are not an obligation
Dianna Anderson’s Consent Love Respect
The Other Journal article: naked-and-ashamed-women-and-evangelical-purity-culture
Go read Randy Elrod’s book Sex, Lies, & Religion, while he doesn’t address the purity culture directly, he does target the dysfunction and the results that it has caused. http://www.amazon.com/Randy-Elrod/e/B00325JEQ6
5 Things to Think About Before Having Sex
5 Uncomfortable Things the Church Needs to Start Talking About
When Purity Culture Hurts Men Too
And to round things out… Why sex is for marriage only, 8 benefits of waiting Make sure this is your own decision you make for yourself.
5 things Christians should know about depression and anxiety
11 common misconceptions about people who have never been in relationships
And for those who need more about what some women experience…
Additional information on depression from Science Based Medicine: Depression Re Examined A New Way to Look at an Old Puzzle
I keep finding more information and even must read articles like this. Relationships are hard enough, but when you have outside pressure to be something you are not then anxiety will cause problems.
4 Truths About Sex in Relationships that no one wants to admit
And for another list: No Shame Movement
There is so much real information out there. Don’t be afraid to ask questions and read a lot. I’ve spent way too much time in anxiety over saying too much and feeling emotionally threatened when I shouldn’t have. I know many more books and articles need to be written. Hopefully the list of other articles will help with perspective. Seems the resulting anxiety and depression will be keeping counselors busy for many years.
And from Dianna Anderson: Marriage is a Covenant not a Contract
From Kelsey Munger: Slut Shaming Evangelical Style
Rollingstone Magazine: Millennial Sexual Revolution, Relationships, Marriage
Joshua Harris I want my teens back I never related to the book I Kissed Dating Good Bye since I never was a serial dater in the need to give up dating. I would have benefitted from a book that encouraged dating and that it is ok to build lasting friendships through dating.
WHEN A BLACK GIRL PURSUES PURITY The Joshua Harris book IKDGB assumes everyone is starting in the same place, black women go through more than any of us can imagine.
On Letting Go of Objects and Obectification
Is Sunday School Destroying Our Kids What is being taught is that kids or anyone has to be good to loved. The idea is to love people, not wait till they are good enough to be loved.
And there is this… The difficulties of Running a Sex Inspired Startup
And from Candace Ladd…
true-love-waits-maybe-what-i-learned-from-surveying-my-friends-about-sex-and-purity-culture Especially pay attention to the part on those associating as LGBTQ, much work needs to happen in teaching to include everyone.
New Study On ‘Slut Shaming’ Shows It’s More About Economics Than Sexual Partners from Elite Daily
Purity Culture Not Pure Even the leaders and authors of the early days dealt with those who made up rules that oppress people.
Sarah Evonne’s Your “Virginity” Is Not a Gift and Other Thoughts I do realize there is a gap between what is taught on the upper levels of theology and what is practical on the everyday person. It is impacting people with unrealistic ideals and adding anxiety when it isn’t necessary.
4 Lies Church Taught Me About Sex There is still a lot of work to do on the way sex is taught. Guilt has been associated with sex even well into a marriage.
XO Jane: IT HAPPENED TO ME: I Waited Until My Wedding Night to Lose My Virginity and I Wish I Hadn’t
Christians Stop Staying Pure Till Marriage
The Surprising Source of Our Sexual Morals
and the source material available for download: Female Economic Dependence and the Morality of Promiscuity
How Casual Sex Can-Affect Our Mental Health The grass may not be greener on the other side.
This is a must read:
Rollingstone: The Forsaken A Rising Number of Homeless Gay Teens Are Being Cast Out by Religious Families More and more stories like theses are happening. When I was in Seattle I noticed a lot of the homeless were very young. What ever the reason, there is a problem of rejection that needs to end.
Masturbation and the Church’s Insistence on Policing the Bedroom Behaviors of Adults The post focuses on women who masturbate, which by the way is something that comes naturally. (ok, maybe pun intended)
Christian Masturbation – A Defense (Part 2)
10 Things No One Tells Men That Will Make Them Better Lovers Sad to hear that Sue is off the air, that got me through seminary better educated. Not much ever gets taught about actually having sex, and even if you think you are ready consent is the most important. Take your time with her to get things going, especially #7. And yes, you can feel it when that happens, even then it still doesn’t mean she is ready, just wait on her. Besides, lubricating and orgasm responses can be involuntary, she may not be enjoying any of it, her body may be betraying her lack of consent. The same goes for guys, erections and ejaculation can be an involuntary response. Consent is more important than relying on a physical response.
Philip Yancey – Christianity’s Negative Stereotypes
Single Saved and Still Thinking About Sex As if any of us ever quit thinking about sex at appropriate times. The conversations need to change and be open to what really is going on.
The Most Important Thing Teen Girls Should Do But Don’t and there are lot of comments to read too about staying away from shaming.
9 of the Biggest Lies Christianity Tell Her Us About Sex and Marriage
Why Don’t Guys in My Church Ask Women Out on Dates Lol, I’ve been avoiding that meat market for ever, but that’s just me. While some use a church to meet people, feel lucky if it’s not happening at your church. It is OK to casually make friends and build a support network, making assumptions is not. Also there are a lot of assumptions that dating or spending time together has to lead to marriage or even dating. It’s OK to spend time learning more about someone without assuming it has to be heading to marriage even if romance is involved along the way. I would avoid dating and still do just because I didn’t like the pressure until I learn more about her. I’m naturally very comfortable with socializing with women, so it is annoying that normal conversations and general flirting has to mean something more than what it really is. Also casual encounters doesn’t mean it will or should result in casual sex. Planned or spontaneous activities with someone shouldn’t be faced with scrutiny or judgements that imply something more. Also as for guys in churches not asking women on dates could be that the the good guys have been overlooked for so long and women just constantly talk about the bad treatment they received, the guys have given up and just don’t want to be a part of all that, they would rather be single than dragged into relationships with those assuming they will face misogyny/sexism/hyper-masculinity/patriarchy or have unrealistic expectations. The women can ask the guys out, he may be wondering how to even bring up the subject.
And this article covers these things as well. How Christians Ruin Dating: Maybe we all just need to chill out.
Kink 101 For Purity Culture Survivors
How I’m Overcoming Shame In My Sex Life “Even those who save sex for marriage have to deal with feelings of guilt.”
Professor live-tweets her son’s abstinence-only sex ed class
I was always glad I had a health class that covered reproduction and even sex issues, even if it wasn’t all that great but it was better than nothing. Moving to a small town after wards was heart breaking that such things were not taught. Churches were useless on actually teaching anything. Kids back then were definitely into a lot of oral sex but didn’t readily discuss much, today the kids are just more open about that. A few smart ones may know real facts and concepts, others still haven’t a clue what really is going on. If you are worried that kids are having sex, rest assured they probably are not but know how to do way more.
Let’s Talk (Frankly) About Sex
Yes, Women Fantasize: The Psychology Behind The Most Common Female Sexual Fantasies
‘I want a world where disabled people are valid sexual partners’
What’s it like to be a born-again virgin
How Purity Culture Hurt My Marriage
Modest is Hottest? Sarah Moon explores more of the problems with the Purity culture.
4 Lies the Church Taught Me About Sex
Megachurch pastor rejects his father’s bigotry: Jesus would want you to bake a gay wedding cake And a well written article of the realities. Guest op-ed: Don’t believe gay-friendly version of Georgia pastor Andy Stanley How about standing up against the bullying, rejection, and hate out there by pointing it out and allowing correction and growth. While leadership may be going in a better direction, the followers still need to catch up. That isn’t the case here. It was always heart breaking to attempt to welcome everyone but the people would have such a wide variety of opinions. In the early church, Paul called out Peter for such actions. My church in TN had a sizable group of LGBTQ at one time, unfortunately it’s as if once they were noticed they had to go back into hiding, the church motto is Everyone’s Welcome. I have friends who used to be there and now are not.
The Hebrews were hospitable, when you invited someone into your tent or home you took care of them as if they were a part of the family. Family was important and you didn’t let anyone else mess with your family. Often modern prejudices/bigotry have shaped interpretation of certain words found in a few places in the Bible that are used to clobber people. The culture doesn’t support that cruelty. Keep in mind that language has changed over the centuries, words have changed meanings. Often prejudices have creeped in as meanings changed.
It also was horrible hearing all the comments about being single, few ever write about how devastating that is. You’ll find some one when you’re not looking, God’s got someone for you, when are you getting married, etc. Maybe one day people won’t be thinking something is wrong with being single.
Parallel to the Purity Culture is also the CCM, Contemporary Christian Music… I Am a Secretly Atheist Female Backup Singer for a Popular Christian Contemporary Recording Artist. And I Have Stories. The “Christian Sexy” and the “holier than though” reference caught my attention to help emphasize the problem that is deeply rooted in culture across many levels and topics. I really need to research the “Christian Sexy” topic more. I’ve always been a supporter of women in music, not just a few major artists to front the labels but a good balance of talent. OK, my preference, but that’s me. Becky the Golden Calf of Christian Radio OK, here’s the point of that, there is a targeted demographic and very little interest in branching away from that for others. You never have to fit into someone else’s expectations.
Teaching Kids about Sex – Wilderness (Part 1) More and more are seeing the need to start the discussion early and to keep the dialogue going. To quote a philosophy professor, “If you are not teaching your kids, I will…” Even if you just tell them not to do it, they will learn from some one and each other. I mentioned earlier that after moving to a small town/rural area how bad the education was from churches and schools. Information is important. Many volumes of psychological case studies have been dedicated to issues of wrong information and the results of trauma from people not ever being able to live up to parental ideals.
Shame-Based Sex Education: Lessons From Elizabeth Smart
The case for starting sex education in kindergarten
After a First Time, Many Second Thoughts
My Journey and Why I Left Purity Culture, Part 3 Eating disorders and body issues have drastic results.
SEXUAL PURITY AND THE POOL BATTLE PLAN This is so true. When I attended college in Florida the beach culture was right there. Didn’t think much of it to go to the beach. For the most part, local people avoided the tourist crowds, party scene, and traffic just like locals to Nashville avoid the tourist trappings of downtown. But after a while I did notice more and more how the purity culture teachings were becoming more damaging from some people. Maybe it wasn’t always about the crowds. Even now as a rollerderby photographer, I have to distance myself away from those who think it’s about anything other than the sport.
Why Using Patriarchal Messaging to Promote Toilets is a Bad Idea Marital rape is still an issue, even worse in other cultures too.
Holly Madison Reveals Hell With Hef in Playboy Mansion I’ll just leave this here for reflection. She say’s it best in her own words.
scarleteen: Getting Married When We May Want Different Things From Sex
Lady Gaga has it so right, born this way… The Greek word Physikos has been used wrong, it’s actually “produced from nature.” Clobbering Biblical Gay Bashing Learned this information long ago, even though some people still want to teach other wise.
From the Shaytards, When The Kids Go To Sleep. The Sex Talk (WTKGTS #115) Parents didn’t always give the talk, now you’ve got to be pro-active…
What I Learned from Joshua Harris I’m sure I could write too much on this subject. I never read the book, but endured the fall out teachings from it. I share a lot of empathy for the author of this article, the conservative teaching is that thoughts are bad. We don’t have to act on our thoughts or even try to achieve unrealistic expectations. Some one out there needs to know that going out on a date really isn’t a commitment, it’s just a way to find out more about a person. I needed a book that encouraged dating, that it’s OK to go out with someone and it not work out after the first or a bunch. Also, I just don’t like being used for a free meal or activity, but then again I don’t always catch the social aspects of stuff most of the time. Everyone is different, and there isn’t one set way to do things.
Statement by Josh Harris on ending publication of IKDGB Even Josh Harris no long agrees with the book, especially how it has been used. Yeah, that thing was weaponized.
This is an important read:
Naked and Ashamed: Women and Evangelical Purity Culture The studies already exist about how shame has been increasing. There are so many good quotes here. The purity culture philosophy wants to even blame women for causing another to have thoughts, not much different from what abuse victims endure. Found on amazon: Introducing Body Theology I’m just excited that the data exists to help, and I’m saddened that the shaming even happens.
My atheist porn star friend made me a better Christian Good for this writer to learn this…
Christians Shouldn’t Be Culture’s Morality Police Another important read. It’s not a new idea. People have been facing this for a long time while the Evangelical/fundamentalists keep spiralling down to more legalism.
Check out #purityculturetaughtme on Twitter
The Sex Myth: why we’re not talking about not getting laid
How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Have the Orgasms I Deserve
Important read: Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”
There is a lot of research in this one article on the use of apps like Tinder. There is much information on both sides of how men and women are treated. Of course I had to ask one lady friend to explain what it meant when another friend had “man candy”, she called it “penis-in-pocket”, I was disappointed in that since I definitely don’t want to be one of those… Sigh, I do feel for the ladies in the article who aren’t having orgasms (not that orgasms are always the goal), hopefully they learn to take better control on what is happening with what they need.
NPT: Children’s Health Crisis Sexuality You’ll be surprised at what decisions they will make given the support.
A lady after my own heart: High Heel, Harleys, And Sexual Frustration No need to compromise who you are. And yes, that pent up sexual frustration doesn’t get any easier. I’ll be somewhere working on my abs…
Consent and mutual respect are not taught, or hardly ever mentioned. Teens Talk About Backdoor Sex Coercion is not cool. Teen girls also endure boys sending photos of body parts without consent.
What Sexuality Looks Like if You’re Single
Pornography has changed the landscape of adolescence beyond all recognition here is a quote from author concerning consent: “PS: I just texted my own teenager for her view. She texted back: “A lot of truth to this. I think dubious consent is the greatest problem of my generation.” ” and to go along with that, another quote: “Mature women can generally make up their own minds about what they are and aren’t prepared to do in bed. That is a private matter among consenting adults, although I don’t know a single woman who thinks that a man insisting on anal sex is anything other than a depersonalising act of aggression.”
So many good quotes about consent, and men being held accountable for their actions. No one likes being used. THE UGLY SIDE OF BEING A SINGLE, ATTRACTIVE AND AVAILABLE HETEROSEXUAL WOMAN
17 Lies We Need to Stop Teaching Girls About Sex
Swipe Right On Monogamy The hook up/swipe culture of casual sex has this participant wanting more, even a relationship. Also, this article does address the sex education vacuum that exists concerning teaching guys what it means to have sex instead of trying to emulate porn activities. Also related: Why All Girls Going to College Should Get a Vibrator, because guys are not learning what to do. Still a mystery why women endure bad sex experiences without taking charge of their own pleasure. There is also a protest movement in which student organizers are giving away dildos and vibrators to strap on backpacks to protest gun policies on campuses.
This Sex Ed Startup’s Touchable Video Teaches You About Women’s Pleasure
Unslut Project The UnSlut book is now on sale.
This Very Crucial Sex Ed Lesson Isn’t Being Taught in Most Schools
No more banana demonstrations. Sex Ed keeps getting worse in schools especially as various groups seek to ban it, often parents claim it’s their responsibility but don’t have the resources for proper education. If parents aren’t teaching, and many won’t, learning will come from other sources. Respect and consent are falling away. Social media is filling the information gap while many great educators are on YouTube trying to help the college age.
The recent Dolly Parton TV movie, Coat of Many Colors, about her life included a scene that the parents were discussing why they needed to sleep separately. The adults didn’t know how to prevent pregnancy or even what was causing it.
What I would have said to you last night had you not cum and then fallen asleep. Patriarchal ideologies tend to encourage such behavior and millenials are not being taught to take care of the lady. I don’t know how any one would let this happen in their life. A best friend once mentioned sex being ten minutes long, and I was taken back wondering how that was even possible for such a short amount of time. There is so much more than just procreation portion of sex. I’m amazed that someone wouldn’t take the time to take care of the other person first. Consent is paramount, check in with each other before assuming. Foreplay is important for women, due to comfort or psychological needs or medication, she needs time before penetration is even considered. Foreplay can even be the favorite part of sexual activities, it can range from flirty compliments to massage to exploration to snogging. Keeping communicating.
To The Women Who Are “Never The One”
7 Myths About Women and Masturbation It’s Time to Unlearn Right Now
If you don’t want to, say No: a porn star’s guide to sexual consent
Drama Queens, What’s Really Going On In A Teenage Girls Head There is a lot going on that means just be there to listen and take those burdens away. Navigating life and growing up is hard enough with out adding more pressures. Adults do need to talk to trusted people while raising their teens, hopefully not adding problems or solutions that time will resolve.
The Stories We Tell: Purity Culture Edition
Awesome historical perspective read… 100-Year-Old Wedding Night Advice for Newlyweds I do want to refer to the last paragraph of this blog post, they were trying back then with limited knowledge. Some of it wasn’t bad, like showing compassion to your bride and being slow to penetrate until she’s ready even if it takes a week. They tried and were ever so close acknowledging the importance of a woman’s own sexual needs and her human rights. Who knows what happened to the even more downward spiral of sex ed between then and the 50’s when a scientific approach was used to understand sex and reproductive health. Of course, it’s probably just a rumor the vibrator was invented by doctors who were tired of manually relieving a woman’s “hysteria”. I thought sex ed was lacking in my teens until I moved to a small town where it was taboo. Oh, a true family story from about that time in the early 1900’s involved some brothers putting cow bells on my great-grandfather’s bed for the wedding day main event… I laugh out loud just thinking about that one. But good to know that we don’t loose needed fluids like they did back then, they had it rough back then.
Online Dating for Vintage Girls. {Adult} What a fun article about sticking to who you want to be amongst the hook up culture. Of course there are early twenty-somethings who are doing the same thing, and I know this from my lady actor friends who are not afraid to talk about such subjects.
Why Modern Dating Makes Me Want To Punch Myself In The Throat
Scarlet Letters: Getting the History of Abortion and Contraception Right
The Criminalization of Abortion Began as a Business Tactic
Project Consent video (NSFW) This must watch video on consent has been going viral. A better one may be Tea Consent since consent isn’t gender specific.
As a Girl, I Went Through Abstinence Ed. As a Woman, I’m Trying to Understand the Damage Done. The author went back to see what the abstinence class is teaching now since it had a damaging affect on her. I want to quote everything from this, especially the part about her bff asking the educators about how it works for gay people since they don’t get pregnant. It reflects what is happening here in Tennessee now. The laws passed because someone got offended by a near legal adult. I’m upset that in this article there is a description of separating gender role responsibility, meaning that girls have to watch what they wear and that will lead to boys having sex because of that. The Unslut Project That is rape culture mentality. Any person has the ability to refrain from sex with another no matter the circumstances, clothes, or even the lack of clothes. There has to be a better way. Also related, the current culture of what really is happening… Growing Up in Pornland: Girls Have Had It with Porn Conditioned Boys
Another example of rape culture, nothing from the speaker addresses consent or teaching responsibility. Boys and men have control and should never be taught anything less. PHS assembly warns girls not to provoke “uncontrollable” boys How was this even allowed? Let’s make this clear boys and men should be controlling their actions, no means no. Men and women can dress any way they want, that doesn’t mean some one can attack them.
Removing The Fig Leaf A collection of blogs on Patheos covering sexuality and shame.
After Staying a Virgin Until Marriage, I Couldn’t Have Sex With My Husband Medical issues do happen, so check out the possibilities before assuming. Do open up the conversation about sex, being respectable of age and interest. Articles like this one do help with showing a need for better sex education with out agendas. The next generation is capable of making their own decisions without being told what to do.
Millennials leaving church in droves, study finds And of course the source material: America’s Changing Religious Landscape
Christians Decline Sharply as Share of Population; Unaffiliated and Other Faiths Continue to Grow
3 Ways My Parents Unintentionally Taught Me That My Consent Didn’t Matter
Sex Positive Parenting, or We Don’t Touch Our Vulvas At The Table
The Warrior Wives of Evangelical Christianity Who is writing this stuff? Who is marketing and selling this stuff?
I Went To A Strip Club I do have friends who are entertainers, and this article helps expectations you may have about what happens behind the scenes… Women face the same struggles no matter the job field. Even those in burlesque have stories. The author learned to see a person no matter the background or the expectations one has for another person.
Purity Culture part 1: an introduction
I want to quote so much of this article. Hookup culture is bad for women—so why do we force ourselves to participate? Men are not taking care of their partner’s emotional, mental, and physical well being. An older article was referenced, Boys on the Side. Still seems there is a dilemma. Of course you can go read the senior thesis about the Middlebury College hook-up culture, Can She Really “Play That Game, Too”?. The psychological stress of trying to live up to either abstinence or hook-up culture is disastrous by having to live up to someone else’s ideals instead of being able to make your own decisions. The New Yorker reviews a book on dating, Work It Is dating worth the effort?, that includes a history of dating. A hundred years ago times were different with it’s relationship culture and how it evolved to the competitive selfie world. Why Modern Dating Makes Me Want To Punch Myself In The Throat
Joshua Harris I want my teens back
The Most Common Factor In Declining Churches Declining Churches commonly also loose focus on accepting others no matter who they are. Looking inward and judging social acceptance of those on the outside of a group will not encourage anyone to even be a part. People will just fade away from the negative environment. Ever since the evangelicals crawled into bed with the white supremacists/racists and far-right extremists there has been a decline, their ideologies are not popular and aren’t accepting of opposing views. Many writings included in the Bible weren’t a how-to-guide, often it pointed out what people did with what knowledge they had about God, and yes they failed social expectations many times.
Elizabeth Smart Is Challenging the Way the Mormon Church Talks About Women and Sex
Elizabeth Smart Is Standing Up for Rape Victims—And Tearing Down Purity Culture
You will never win by focusing on someone else’s path. Your path will not look like someone else’s. People develop sexually at different rates and with differing levels of maturity. Don’t focus on what someone else is doing. Your own path to following Jesus will not be the same as others, there is no need to force people into your path. Comparison just leads to envy and judging.
Exodus: Why Americans are Leaving Religion—and Why They’re Unlikely to Come Back
Graced-Paced Living in a Burnout Culture
It seems there is progress in bringing fairness, the Utah laws that passed help with protecting the LGBTQ and for religious freedom. Fairness for All: Evangelicals Explore Truce on LGBT and Religious Rights
It worked in Utah. But national effort by the CCCU and NAE will be more complicated.
Check out Bruna Nessif’s article: Why I Stopped Having Sex For A Year and of course she has a blog worth checking out.
The New Legalism: Missional, Radical, Narcissistic, and Shamed
We Should Be Naked: Why Religion Is A Symptom And Not The Solution
WHEN A BLACK GIRL PURSUES PURITY
The Unintended Consequences of Purity Pledges
Pregnant at 18. Hailed by Abortion Foes. Punished by Christian School. Didn’t we learn anything from the Scarlet Letter, it’s generally required reading.
PBS News Hour: Addressing the need for better sex education. West Virginia schools rethink sex ed The abstinence only programs have a higher STD and birthrate than other programs, plus they don’t get the tools to deal with other life issues such as consent and being able to say no.
Have You Tried the Six Varieties of Love? And the same article retitled for another site… The Ancient Greeks’ 6 Words for Love (And Why Knowing Them Can Change Your Life)
The Secret Evangelicals at Planned Parenthood There seems to be a stigma with needing the many services of this clinic, such as sex education, affordable birth control, condoms, pap smears, STD tests, and much more. Many areas don’t even have affordable clinics. Maybe if churches provided an extensive comprehensive inclusive sex education for all ages (especially including consent), and provided condoms, dental dams, and more then maybe that would help reduce STD spread and unplanned pregnancy.
Roe v Wade: Woman behind US abortion ruling was paid to recant
When Southern Baptists Were Pro-Choice
Plan B or emergency contraception is not an abortifacient, it delays ovulation or pushes it back so an egg isn’t released. It eliminates the possibility for an egg to be released for fertilization. This is the purpose of birth control when taken on a regular basis. There are members of Congress and State legislators who argue otherwise.
I know some are hoping that Roe vs Wade will some day be over turned. Even if it were overturned, abortions would not stop, people of means would still find a way to do it and those without means will resort to unsafe practices. Many religious people would be surprised as to how many in their faith had an abortion and will in the future. Also that Numbers 5:11-31 describes a common abortion technique know at that time and it was used in a temple ritual. People of means will use whatever means necessary to keep it quiet and not have a scandal, it didn’t stop for the 100 years it was illegal. Overturning the ruling is very difficult anyway. So, you have a pro-life pro-choice split that has become a political matter rather than a personal liberty on choice. The consensus among early Christian leaders, and many centuries after, has been that an abortion can happen up until the quickening (an actual legal term). Remember, a religious group can make it’s own rules for it’s members. That doesn’t mean applying those rules to others who are not part your group, and yes there lots of people who may never want to belong to your group of believers. Here is the thing, abortion didn’t start with the verdict of Roe vs Wade, even while it was illegal it never actually went away. It’s been going on for thousands of years. Women have been making the decision on what to do when this situation arises, there were plenty of common remedies. In some cultures if a child survived birth another option might be just leave it some where to die, the practice of exposure referred to in the Bible is frowned upon, or the child could be dropped off to be taken up by someone else. Keep in mind that the bulk of US anti-abortion laws were created between 1873 and 1910 making it a felony, even then the earliest laws in the USA were regulations on the concoctions being used or sold to women to keep them from being killed in the process were just a guise as doctors opposed the existence of midwives. Here is one link:Scarlet Letters: Getting the History of Abortion and Contraception Right Also, another: The Criminalization of Abortion Began as a Business Tactic Abortions did not end during the 100 years it was illegal, the practice was just driven underground and that often meant it was done in an unsafe way. Women were left to options that could and did kill them, coat hangers, chemicals, etc. Of course with it being legal, regulations and procedures could be done in a safer environment. The morning after pill is the modern version of the many natural remedies that have been used for thousands of years. Keep in mind, Numbers 5:11-31 describes one of those natural remedies administered by a priest, and yes the bible describes an abortion technique. People on both sides have been fighting over the details about procedures and when during a pregnancy it can happen, most people wouldn’t even imagine having one late in a pregnancy. Abortions happen in all walks of life and religious groups. A woman makes her own decision of what happens to her body, and the ancient Jewish approach in the bible favored the life of the mother over any child. We’re not in China where until just recently there was a very strict limit of only one child you can have, after the limit she no longer has a choice. Keep in mind that those in the USA may think it’s unimaginable that there could be a law that requires an abortion, consider there are those who can’t imagine being required to carry to term if they didn’t want to. While the USA abortion numbers have been on a decline, there is still much to do for sex education and the social stigmas. Abstinence works for some who make their own decision to do that, meanwhile there are others who will never make that decision. There are so many personal variables for decisions to have an abortion, blanket statements and limiting regulations are not going to help. Few ever address why someone would make the decision to have an abortion, one is that there is a serious lack of support systems and there is a stigma for asking for help. Even if a woman does have an abortion, she doesn’t need to be treated unfairly or less than an equal. Nevermind that when a woman needs help after having a baby that there are more and more stresses to get help. Yes there are those who abuse the help from Federal/State government help and by the way are caught, but those are few and easily caught while there are so many more who just need help. Wait, why aren’t there ample funds from those who are anti-abortion to take care of pregnant women and then all those babies? You would think that pro-life would actually mean supporting the mothers, and any other life such as immigrants and refugees. Basically it doesn’t matter which political party you follow, the statistical fact is that abortions decline more under Democrat presidents. Keep in mind that in the 80’s the number of abortions was about 1.3 million a year, now it’s about 600000. We can work on creating inclusive comprehensive sex education programs, have condoms available, and more so there are fewer unwanted pregnancies. Let’s make sure we support women in what ever choice they make, no judgements what so ever. U.S. Public Continues to Favor Legal Abortion, Oppose Overturning Roe v. Wade
The Dobbs ruling that over turned Roe threw the decision back to the states. Republican lead states were quick to bring up abortion ban legislation. When states brought up abortion to be codified in constitutions, the people voted in favor of abortion. So conservatives have switched to a different strategy, they are going for a national ban under the guise of fetal personhood. The idea of fetal personhood is a fringe extremist ideal started in the 1960’s and surfaces in 2008, at the moment a sperm touches an egg then the forming zygote is to be treated as if having the same rights as a full grown person, so this is a new idea. This drastically affects the views on IVF and miscarriages. IVF would have to stop. Women would have to prove that miscarriages were natural. Traditionally women would take care of matters if a pregnancy wasn’t practical, men weren’t involved even if they knew what was happening. Numbers 22 brings up a scenario where a jealous husband brings his wife to the priests, of course the priests would administer an abortifacient. Also there has been a long standing custom of abortions being allowed up until the quickening. Even the Jewish custom is that the soul doesn’t enter the body until the first breath. The fetal personhood idea goes against conventional thinking. Many times a fertilized egg doesn’t attach to the uterus, so this fetal personhood idea doesn’t even consider what to do about the countless times this happens other than to criminalize women.
‘Throughline’ Traces Evangelicals’ History On The Abortion Issue
Teen interest in long-lasting birth control soars after Roe Those who are not sexually active are getting IUD’s. Some of this is due to fear of being raped, definitely many don’t want to go through a pregnancy scare.
Teaching Abortion in Bible and Religious Studies Courses Often the passages used against abortions are taken out of context. The Bible doesn’t say one way or the other concerning abortions. Women have been taking care of matters forever, it’s up to the woman to decide if the pregnancy needs to end whether it’s a bad time or problems arise. Of course rape and incest are exceptions needed in bans. Some of the clobber texts are addressed to grown adults who are questioning life which can be due to PTSD, anxiety, depression, or just as a literacy device. Remember, in times up until modern medicine even with skilled midwives women didn’t always survived pregnancy and there was a rate of pregnancies not going to term and a high infant mortality after birth so an abortion isn’t much different. Abortion is probably the one area men are smart to stay out of. Of course any man of worth would want his wife to survive if complications arise.
Since I’m a photographer and want to help empower women… Finding Healing In Front Of The Camera You can do boudoir for yourself. You may want do it for your significant other, but in reality it is for you. You are in control of your own body.
I Grew Up In A Fundamentalist Cult — ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’ Was My Reality
What Young Women Believe About Their Own Sexual Pleasure | Peggy Orenstein TED Talk There is a disconnect from pleasure.
55 Things Only Christian Women Hear And the author has a list of articles Rachel Asproth
Why Some People Hide Sexual Assault After Abstinence-Only Education Victim blaming has to stop, it’s not their fault.
The Aziz Ansari story is ordinary. That’s why we have to talk about it. There is still much to talk about concerning what society says is ok.
What Teenagers Are Learning From Online Porn
Christian College Values Clash With the Realities of Hooking Up There is the assumption that since they are not supposed to be having sex, then there is no need for sex education and condoms. Be sure to check out the site Sexetc.org for more info specifically for teens.
Dear Church: It’s Time to Stop Enabling Abusive Men From the Article: “The church is helping abusive men keep their wives trapped in hurtful marriages, but it has to stop. Because there are some things God hates MORE than divorce.”
The Evangelical Social Construction of Virginity Sadly patriarchal men are not held to the same standards that they imposed on women, it’s all about control.
Life After “I Kissed Dating Goodbye”
QUESTIONING FAITH AFTER PURITY CULTURE: IN CONVERSATION WITH JOSHUA HARRIS
How Depression & Sexless Sleepovers Got Me Run Out of My Church No one asked about her depression or how to support her, only worried about how it would look. Haven’t we learned not to to make assumptions by now? I can be out with my best friend and not have sex with her while who ever may assume that is what is going on, no one needs to assume we’re doing something that we may or may not be doing. False accusations/assumptions are horrible.
Let’s Talk About Sex: The Reality of the Sexual Pleasure Disparity | Grace Wetzel Grace in her TED Talk addresses the inequality of orgasms. The social acceptance of the male orgasm neglects the equal importance of the female orgasm. While foreplay is important, don’t assume that will be enough for the female orgasm. Few women have vaginal orgasms, for most the clitoris is a source of orgasms, and don’t forget that there are other pleasure centers. I also don’t want to imply that orgasms are the only way to have sex. Communicate your needs.
Hannah Witton sex talk Wanking off to Late Orgasms In this video, Hannah discusses having sex for a number of years before experiencing a orgasm.
How the Bible shapes contemporary attitudes to rape and sexual assault Let’s judge the rapist and attackers for their bad behavior, don’t blame the victims.
Mummy’s 1,300-Year-Old Thigh Tattoo Revealed One possible reason for the tattoo as protection would be in case a rapist who happened to be a Christian would recognize the symbol and then would back off and not rape.
Most women named in the Bible were living outside the patriarchy of the day.
Have you ever read the book of Esther in the Bible? Basically there is a jerk a-hole womanizer King who gets drunk and decides to show off his Queen without her consent. She’s not having it. We call it toxic masculinity, the king doesn’t view his wives as people and of course he doesn’t think of those he rules over as people. And of course the officials think this will mean wives everywhere will turn against their husbands, like the misogynists they are. So the King’s officials set out to find a new Queen, well mainly just add to the harem. Esther wins or looses depending on the time of day on how you view that situation. To get to the second harem she had to undergo a 12 month beauty regime and then have only one night with the King. Nothing about love there, just sex with a beautiful girl, really just a masturbatorial aid. Meanwhile the King who wasn’t a good judge of character promoted Haman, Mordecai wasn’t keen on this decision, and Haman started to devise a scheme against the Jews. Haman had the King pass a law to get rid of the Jews, the King could pass irrevocable laws even when half drunk. Esther’s cousin Mordecai, who had raised her as his own daughter and saved the King from a plot before, catches wind of this and they set out to tell the King. The King could be a jerk and have her killed for disturbing his kingly duties. Well she glams up and shows up in front of everyone. The King doesn’t have her killed, guess the beauty regime/sex appeal worked. So being the jerk a-hole womanizer king that he is who barely realizes the consequences of his actions, he needs to out jerk his own officials, and he decides the Jews can kill their enemies the day before the law takes into affect. Ok, so the moral of the story is that when you want to show off your significant other to be admired for their looks it isn’t going to go over well, your significant other can show off themselves on their own, and it’s up to you if you are going to be a jerk about that when it happens. A person makes their own decisions on what to do with their own body. And bonus, if drinking is involved, then don’t make laws or decisions.
In the book of Ruth, the “uncovering of the feet” was a typical word play used for describing uncovering the genitals area. It was an euphemism to be more polite, the adults knew what it meant, sadly people take it as literally being at the feet. There’s even a reference elsewhere that a child was born between a woman’s feet. Hands was also used elsewhere like the Song of Solomon. So, when her mother-in-law suggested to Ruth that she uncover Boaz’s feet, this was suggesting she surprise him with a blow job or a hand job or even something innocent. Having been married, she knew what she could do to please a man sexually and this was her chance to get his attention. She spent that night at his “feet”. The Hebrews understood sex and sexuality, it’s obvious with so many references throughout the Bible. Reading into this story with a modern Christian purity view you will miss what was actually happening if you think she meant for Ruth to literally be at his feet, of course some people are into feet. Naomi basically suggested Ruth to hawk tuah on that thing. Also in this book is a very heart felt love pledged between two women, love was important throughout scripture, the mother-in-law and Ruth accepted each other as family and as their own. Beyond that, God loves ethnic outsiders if they are willing to join the community. The book speaks to a variety of people with love and inclusion.
Often the Bible isn’t a how-to-guide. Many of the stories relate to the people then, as in their culture and practices and faith. It’s probably easiest understood as a Holy History. Different cultures have read into the collection with their own perspectives. Also those seeking power and control over people have interpreted the writings in their favor, if you didn’t like a group of people then words were translated to mean what you wanted. Prophets of old wrote about what people were doing with the knowledge of God they had, and can be seen as a way to point out what people were doing with the faith. Early Christians had plenty of women leaders and preachers, they were more egalitarian. Christianity picked up misogyny, sexism, hyper-masculinity, and embraced patriarchy from bad teachings and just as a way to control society. It took a few plagues throughout Europe for changes to occur that loosened the grip of religious domination. Instead of learning about the historical perspective they read their own ideas into it. The Hebrews had a custom of hospitality, it was wrong to mistreat foreigners. If you were invited into someone’s tent/home, then you were accepted and protected as part of the family, and the visitor was expected to respect that trust. That seems to imply that family members then that were what we call LGBTQIA would be accepted or at least protected from those outside the family, what they didn’t tolerate was sexually abusing children which was beyond offensive. Ezekiel 16:49 calls out the horrible sin of Sodom of not helping the poor and needy, no where does Ezekiel or the original story of Sodom and Gomorrah mention a sexual orientation. See also Jude 7. Hospitality was everything, it meant the difference between life and death, you took care of others because one day you may need help. Some time in the late 1800’s and early 1900’s it was gaslighting and hate-group rhetoric that made the wrong assumption that anyone that’s homosexual must be harming children, as for homosexuality before that people just didn’t ask or mettle with what people did behind closed doors. People considered it rude to ask US President Buchanan about his long time male roommate. The word homosexual is a fairly new term and creeped into modern Bible translations in the 1940’s as a mistranslation of a term used to describe a person abusing children. As quickly as the term homosexual popped up, homophobic bigots started up their rhetoric. Bad fundamentalist evangelical teachings don’t understand that when the mistranslated word ‘homosexual’ is taken out that it never belonged there.
The biblical reference to sparing the rod spoils a child shouldn’t be interpreted as an excuse to beat a kid with a stick, the rod they would have been referring to was a shepherd’s crook/rod. The shepherd’s crook/rod would have been used for guiding and rescuing and protection and more. It would have been seen as a comfort. Shepherds could fight off attacks and gently lift a sheep that fell down a hole. That would have spoke to the people back in the day. This does not give abusers an excuse to beat a child. Parents have lots of tools to use such as words to guide a child, teaching and living by example goes a long way.
There is a local thrift store, the Dickson Help Center thrift store, that sells a lot of lingerie. They have a dedicated section just for lingerie, you can find a variety of corsets and lacey tops. If you spot an item, you had better grab it quick since it won’t last long, and there is half price Wednesday. Might stay away from the bottoms, even if you think they won’t be on long anyway, the last person to wear those probably experienced that. Ok, this tells us that there are people who don’t worry about what they donate or they just didn’t pay attention to what is donated, but there is enough to have a dedicated section for lingerie. Apparently the ones buying are of a younger demographic, you would hope they are over 18, not that they have to be just for something lacy and by the way none of us need to know about that. With churches lacking a comprehensive sex education and the schools barely covering sex education, no matter how much it is ignored or pushed aside, teens do enter the adult world definitely with their own version of a sex life that they learn from any source they can find whether right or wrong. This is reflective of young women reacting to the hypersexuality masculinity, purity culture pushes satisfaction for the male disregarding women’s needs, with a need to attract or hang onto their boyfriends. Hopefully it is a healthy consenting sex life and not one that partners feel the need to dress up or look a certain way to keep the interest of their partners, dressing up is part of life anyway. Side note, pay attention to your partner, appreciate the efforts for dressing up, love their hearts, loving who they are will be amazing.
Jesus described his teachings on the kingdom of heaven with wine skins, old wine skins don’t stretch being too rigid/stiff to be of any use and that’s why new wine skins are used for new wine so they stretch to form to the new wine. That’s why we need to stretch and grow with the new. This lesson is that as we learn to love people we also need to approach them with a fresh love that doesn’t force them into old archaic ideas just to be accepted into the community. Fundamentalists/evangelicals are examples of those trying to change people into their ideals/ideologies before they can be loved rather than loving like Jesus so God can work in their lives. People don’t have to be perfect before they are loved and accepted. Jesus was trying to say that the old ways aren’t working and people of faith may need to adjust and grow drastically.
THE NICE GUY BOOTY CALL MINDSET IS THE RIGHT WAY TO FIX BAD CASUAL SEX Respect your partner…
Health officials: Condoms are not meant to be reused Why does this even have to be taught? What the freak, people… I’ve read historical documents on the early uses of condoms, they were expensive. Just feel lucky you aren’t having to use a sausage casing tied off with a knot… If there wasn’t a stigma about condom use, then they would be more readily available.
30 Reasons You Should Have Frequent Intercourse
50 Years Of Sockin’ It To The PTA In the song from 1968, a mini skirt wearing mom calls out the parent teacher association for their slut shaming and their own ilicit behavior. This was during a time of the women’s rights movement.
GOING TO BED WITH CAROLINE VREELAND: CUNNILINGUS FOR DUMMIES This is a detailed description of cunnilingus, also don’t be afraid to ask what her preferences are. I’ve written about this above, take care of your partner. I have a bad gag reflex, so any thought of her mouth taking me in is a trigger for me, so I have to communicate that.
I Know Why Evangelical Women Support Brett Kavanaugh. I Was Raised To Do The Same.
“Cultural sexism in the world is very real when you’ve lived on both sides of the coin” Toxic masculinity and sexism has to stop. Trans men don’t like it and I don’t like it either.
Whatever Happened To Those Girls Who Signed “Purity Pledges”? Hint: It’s Not Good
5 Reasons Why Families Should Be Included in Child Therapy This can also be an example advice for teachers and leaders, parents can be involved in teaching a comprehensive sex education. Leaving it to others, they may miss crucial information or experiences that apply to the family dynamic. As an old philosophy professor said, if you are not teaching your kids I will…
Can Christianity be sex-positive? A chat with Dianna Anderson
10 Ways to Raise Radically Sex-Positive Kids
Impurity Culture: On Sexuality & Sin
Is Masterbation a sin? Spoiler alert, the Bible never mentions it. There have been plenty of bad interpretations out of which many horrible teachings have developed.
‘Sex recession’: Why millennials are having less sex
Should We All Take the Slow Road to Love? Millennials are having less sex, it’s not that they aren’t, sex is just part of the get to know you stage.
‘There isn’t really anything magical about it’: Why more millennials are avoiding sex
Their Generation Was Shamed by Purity Culture. Here’s What They’re Building in Its Place
Mormon Mother of 6 Offers Radical Advice on How to Cut Down on Abortions in America Men cause unwanted pregnancies, how about focusing on the source… Gabrielle Blair’s original tweet You can have an abortion, you cannot force your opinion on to someone else.
The Criminalization of Abortion Began as a Business Tactic
I KISSED CONSENT GOODBYE PURITY CULTURE AND SEXUAL VIOLENCE ON EVANGELICAL CHRISTIAN CAMPUSES
UN waters down rape resolution to appease US’s hardline abortion stance Women’s rights should continue to grow.
IT TURNS OUT CHRISTIANS HAVE MORE ABORTIONS THAN ANY OTHER RELIGIOUS GROUP IN AMERICA
What We (Don’t) Talk About When We Talk About Porn Yes, yes, yes… This article interviews people from different perspectives. Let’s Talk About Sex is a collection of articles addressing topics to talk about.
THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE USUALLY COMES AFTER THE MISTAKE OF YOUR LIFE A little bit of wisdom to ponder.
Virginity 101 Dr. Doe explains what it means. Basically its the lack of sexual experience. Bonus: Men get made fun of.
How To Bring Kinks Into The Bedroom, According To 9 People Who’ve Done It Communication and consent are sexy. Just talk to each other, take the time to get to know each other.
Sexologist Dr. Doe: 37 Clit Pics
HPV.com TALK TO YOUR CHILD’S DOCTOR ABOUT HPV AND WHETHER THE HPV VACCINE IS AN APPROPRIATE OPTION.
Nikki Glaser A cool interview where she talks about her experiences and the changes she is making.
Trying to Get Guys from Dating Apps to Put on Condoms- Taylor Tomlinson Comedian Taylor Tomlinson speaks about growing up with a conservative father and being cautious with her own dating.
Stories about sex — from polyamory and BDSM to sex work, history and public education This is from the Nashville Scene, so it has the history of legal prostitution all the way to a state law about sex education. Read the article for the section about consent. Consent is seldom addressed in abstinence only education programs, and as an adult it is key to communication as well. Sex Issue: Let’s Talk About Sex
When it comes to teens and sex, what they don’t know can hurt them
Dr. Ruth Answers Your Sex Questions
A healthy sex life can help minimize depression and anxiety symptoms
Reminder: She Doesn’t Owe Anyone a Hug. Not Even at the Holidays.
What is Consent? Consent is so important. Ask permission, don’t assume you can do what you want to another person.
Why I Don’t Hook Up / What is Demisexual / Hook Up Culture I could write a whole new blog post about this subject. Many need to learn more about forming an emotional bond with someone before having sex, as in understanding it more even if it’s just for empathy and having patience with someone. Forming an emotional bond could be made quickly or take a long time, also trust is involved with forming that bond. Keep in mind this is a real emotional bond, not going through the motions of having 3 dates before sex or even saying you are waiting until making a commitment or even marriage before sex, that’s delayed gratification which seems to also not to be taught anymore in our ever growing instant gratification society. As for the video, she addresses the concept of the hook up culture being so common that anything outside of that is problematic, just don’t forget that connecting emotionally with someone before sex is a valid option and shouldn’t be called a prude or not normal. What is Demisexuality?
How Platonic Intimacy Improved Everything About My Life
These U.S. Cities Have the Highest STD Rates
New CDC Report: STDs Continue to Rise in the US
Sex Education’s Emma Mackey: Her teenage embarrassment around sex, porn & masturbation | Glamour UK
Why Are So Many Single Women Leaving the Church? Good observations, there is a trend happening.
The “Purity” Hoax Elisabeth Elliot was the Evangelical sex guru because of a love story. Did it happen? I remember the missionary story, mostly that they were killed in the Amazon. Back then and even now, I thought it was an example of what not to do as missionaries. I don’t think I knew the connection to purity culture. This article sheds some light behind the story.
The Miseducation of the American Boy Toxic masculinity… Masculinity isn’t the problem, toxic masculinity is the problem This article is worth reading, if anything to get the landscape that toxic masculinity is having on people and it does give an insight into the political rhetoric used to appeal to toxic masculinity culture. Young men are being bombarded with social pressure to not only always be ready for sex but also to have more and more partners. The tide has shifted from the compassionate caretaker of the late 1800’s as the work force moved from the family ventures to factories. Much of the rhetoric from churches and lecture ministries harken back to the masculinity that came out of that dehumanizing era and along with backlash to women’s rights as they finally got the vote. Young men are more often left to figure out masculinity among peers in a Lord of the Flies method leading to a toxic environment than they are from parents who don’t know what type of masculinity to teach. There are young men who don’t buy into the hypersexual masculinity as their own truth yet face social pressure to be a part of the toxic masculinity. Young men do find that they can be open and share emotions with women while that is considered taboo among men, often the rhetoric from church members and leadership in purity culture is to separate the sexes when they could be developing healthy boundaries and behavior. Teaching and talking about consent, personal responsibility, and respectful behavior would go a long way. Just telling teens to abstain from sex is the least of their problems, if you have sex then you are ostracized and if you don’t have sex you are ostracized.
Trump Has Weaponized Masculinity As President. Here’s Why It Matters He used dog whistles that goes unnoticed by some but definitely appealed to toxic masculinity, say that “grab them by the pussy” is locker room talk appeals to toxic masculinity yet passed off by others. I find it disturbing that people of faith wouldn’t tolerate toxic masculinity misogynistic sexism in churches yet here they are voting for it. Toxic masculinity doesn’t view everyone as equals, it leads to homophobia, it caters to white supremacists, women are seen just as sex objects, and when allowed in leadership it ends up shaping society affecting views on women’s rights and civil rights.
I Don’t Accommodate Uncontrolled Men The author realized her husband wasn’t socialized into the bad behavior. “He grew up being able to look at a woman, notice parts of her body, even formulate a response (like “She’s attractive” or “She’s trying too hard”), and then go on with his conversation with her as if she’s more than her butt and abs.” So much of purity culture modesty is a reaction to toxic masculinity, the rules are ever changing but does nothing to end toxic masculinity. Men can control their thoughts and urges.
Overcoming the Mob Mentality | GROUPTHINK 101
Conservatives propose revised sex ed rules in LGBTQ pushback Random laws like this pop up mostly causing disparities. LGBTQ already have a tough time not fitting in especially when the culture isn’t accepting. People are already leaving churches or not claiming association with religious groups due to the lack of acceptance of LGBTQ. Here’s a quote from the article, reread it often : “But when they are placed in an environment that’s accepting to them and inclusive to them, those suicide rates drop drastically.” Students already see the need for accurate information they are not getting thanks to laws like this.
America’s Sex Education: How We Are Failing Our Students
Sex Ed Often Leaves Out Queer People. Here’s What To Know
Yes, No, Maybe So: A Sexual Inventory Stocklist A list to help communication.
Mormon sex therapist’s ouster stirs worries of shame culture She was more worried that people needing help wouldn’t seek out help due to fear of being reprimanded. “The Salt Lake City-based church has cited comments she made in support of removing the stigma around pornography, masturbation, and same-sex marriage, saying that contradicts church teachings.” I didn’t want to misquote that since other faiths also have conservative views on sexuality. Pornography, masturbation, and same-sex marriage are still sort of taboo even among evangelicals. Also there’s a different between ethical porn and the toxic masculinity exploitive porn often seen. “Members are taught not to have sex before marriage, kiss passionately or arouse “emotions in your own body” that are supposed to be reserved for marriage. Gay sex also is forbidden.” After reading that, it is even more important why this blog exists and especially for others to write. It must be traumatic in that culture when they are shamed and excommunicated, many have their lives and social structure revolving around this particular church. It’s not much different among other church organizations. This situation just leads to anxiety and PTSD.
Quarter-Life Crisis: The sexual | Taylor Tomlinson 2021 A comedian grew up with abstinence but did other stuff, as in she was having orgasms while friends were just having unfulfilled sex. She ran into a curve ball when her college boyfriend didn’t want to be part of losing her virginity. She also has learned patience to find sexual partners in a responsible way by using her gobstopper test to see if they are ones who are comfortable waiting for sex in the relationship, and of course as a comedian she says that’s the winning attitude to welcome Charlie into her chocolate factory.
Occasionally an adult approaching 30 or so will post a video on social media reacting to song lyrics from the late 90’s/early 2000’s. As they are vibing with nostalgia, the lyrics gets to the part where realization sets in that it was an innuendo and they had been singing it when they were a kid. The song Genie in a Bottle by Christina Aguilera is an example, “You’ve go to rub me the right way”. That can have several meanings, (1) rubbing a lamp, (2) rubbing someone the wrong way means they irritate/annoy you, (3) actually rubbing her body right during a massage, (4) full on sexual innuendo for rubbing for stimulation especially the clitoris for orgasms. Kids mature at different ages so probably they don’t even think much about the meaning of current songs and even adults might not think of anything worse than the 2nd meaning which is where my mind gravitated to. Volumes could be written on this subject, since even seemingly innocent beach songs and movies of the 60’s can be full of innuendos. Cake by the ocean is a recent lyric the comes to mind, there are many others you can easily find. I was driving along singing with my niece Side by Side by Ariana Grande, and yes that can mean staggering after partying all night or from exercise as the video suggests or being worn out from sexual activity as the lyrics suggest, take your pick. Rest assured that kids really do hold onto their innocence longer than parents think despite the song lyrics or movies they see, of course some catch on quick. Even with age appropriate sex education it doesn’t mean they make the connections that adults make. What they do remember is how you respond, as in being strict or just embarrassing them, often just communicating values and even parents living up to what they teach goes further in your relationship with your offspring. Also, wearing headphones and earbuds saves a lot of trouble. When the kids grow up, if they hear the song again they will remember it differently despite having gained experiences since that time long ago. Wait until you watch Grease again or even listen to Let’s get Physical which is probably the first video any of us would remember. Katy Perry came from a rigid fundamentals evangelical background, her song Teenage Dream rings differently as an adult considering she wrote it as an adult reflecting on fulfilling a teenage dream as an adult with another consenting adult, the lyric describing skin tight jeans hits different when your love does wear skin tight jeans or leggings mainly because at one point tight jeans and leggings weren’t instyle for most.The movie Dirty Dancing is still relevant today. You went through that time when your parents questioned what you listened to, your kids will too as you question their music. We love watching Mandy Moore as the aging mom on the TV show This is Us, and she sang Candy. Keep in mind that Song of Solomon is a love poem with plenty of sexual innuendos and specific illustrations, also Ezekiel 23 starts out with what seems like a plot to an erotic film and gets specifically graphic by verse 19-20, and we hand the Bible to kids but they don’t even know what they have until much later.
Dan Savage Looks At What Has Changed In The 30 Years He’s Been Giving Sex Advice He has spent 30 years answering questions in a column and wrote a new book. Take note what is said about consent and communication, “Nothing makes you better at sex than communicating.”
Eco-friendly sex: What is it and how does it impact on climate change?
Here are a few ideas for couples when sex is not happening:
- Your partner might be asexual/demisexual/greysexual, spend time finding out their needs. They get over looked or confused with a low sex drive.
- You and your partner have decided not to have sex. Couples don’t have to have sex to be a couple.
- Your partner is depressed or overwhelmed. Life happens, and there are times you just can’t have sex, so no big deal.
- You are bad in bed. You are not learning your partner’s needs. Also you could be selfish, and an asshole.
Couples and any form of a relationship can and should be communicating and building trust.
Lessons learned from studying sex and sex issues:
- You are in control of your own body, you are the only one that can make the decisions about your own body.
- There needs to be comprehensive inclusive sex education.
- Abstinence is just one option, individuals can make that decision for themselves, don’t force it on others. Don’t be negative to people who choose abstinence and those who don’t. People can also be chasted for various reasons.
- Men do have self control, and women are not the only gate keepers.
- Slut shaming has to end. Don’t shame anyone for having sex, and even for not having sex. Most of the time it’s false accusations anyway.
- Any shaming needs to stop, we need to be lifting each other up.
- We need to teach people not to objectify others.
- Jesus loves you. (but people on the other hand not so much)
- Masturbation is normal and is not mentioned in the bible, it’s individual/social rules that define what is acceptable, well generally don’t do it in public.
- No means no… More can be done on teaching consent. (Rape is happening more often than we want to admit, even marital rape is wrong and against the law)
- There’s a difference between sexual desire and lust.
- Women can and do want sex, thats normal, and are just as likely to consume explicit material. Also, partners can have a different libidos from each other and that’s ok.
- Humans have equal rights. (Patriarchal society needs to end)
- Sex education and consent are not being taught enough.
- Women along with anyone else are being used and abused, many think this is ok as they look for partners.
- Individuals will have their own preferences for if, when, and how they have consentual sex.
- Consent is on going, it can be withdrawn at any time. Communicate and respect boundaries, you can ask about mood and about the other person’s feelings
- While orgasms may not always happen or be the goal, women can take control of getting what they need from their partner, keep communicating.
- Women can wear what they want, they are not asking for sex based on what they wear. Naked or covered, you are to be respected. Stop objectifying women.
- Blue balls or demanding sex because you are horny are part of toxic masculinity and definitely rape culture controlling tactics, this needs to end. Instead of behaving badly, guys can and should be showing self control, goes for the ladies too, really self control is for all genders and sexual orientations.
- Get to know the person, not the purity expectation or outward looks. It’s ok to be attracted to someone, get to know them for who they are.
- Any physical affection doesn’t automatically mean sex. Guys can have self control. Women are not the gate keepers, men can also say no.
- Sex is not required to get pregnant, there is IVF.
- A single person can have children through sex, IVF, adoption, raising orphaned family members, and many more options, there is no need to make assumptions about them having kids or not having kids.
- If you are friendly with someone and they develop feelings for you, you are under no obligation to reciprocate.
- What works for one couple can be different than another couple’s affection. Let couples determine their own expressions of affection.
- When alcohol/drugs is consumed, consent should be considered a no.
- Don’t use sex to hurt yourself or others.
List of sites for sex information:
How about a vibrator designed by women: Dame Products as seen on Today
The Joy of Sex with Whitney Cummings and Cara Delevingne | Lady Parts Host Sarah Hyland and Lady Parts OBGYN Dr. Sherry with guests talk about the joys of sex and masturbation. They encourage learning from sex educators rather than toxic sources, they take the conversation to the female orgasm. After this you can go f@$k yourself, lol, that’s how Sarah signs off season 1 of Lady Parts because they’ve taught you how…
#momsplaining with Kristen Bell: Vagina Myths with Andy Lassner
8 Questions to Ask Someone Before You Sleep With Them | Hannah Witton
Christian Girl Talking About Sex | Wife Talk
Aid Access Some one may need to know there are resources.
The Dark Reality Of The Christian Music Industry | State Of Grace | Refinery29
https://youtu.be/52mlZM68PSA This is a how to video.
What Hollywood Movies DON’T Teach Us About Sex | Hannah Witton | AD
The Secret to Sexual Arousal | Hannah Witton Hannah goes into detail describing the SES (sexual excitation system, accelerator) and the SIS (sexual inhibition system, brake)
Sex Talk with My Dad — When am I ready for sex? Dr. Doe has her dad on for an interview, and was informative. Oh, someone may need to hear this, masterbation is ok. It’s allows you to deal with hormonal needs without having to rely on the complications of a relationship for sex, you can keep that separate until you are ready to have sex. There’s no condom for the heart, so you can wait until you are ready to expose your heart, able to talk about difficult things and solve problems together.
How to be More Satisfied with Your Sex Life | Hannah Witton Hannah addresses the myths of sexual desire. She does mention there are expectations of desire based on a patriarchy view that the male perspective is the default. It is normal to be and practice something else. Responsive Desire is another aspect that she teaches in the video. You can download the toolkit pdf here at https://www.debunkingdesire.com/ Women, and other genders as well, shouldn’t have to subject themselves to someone else’s expectations.
6 Myths About Monogamy That Are Ruining Our Relationships | Hannah Witton Toxic relationships are terrible.
How to Masturbate: There’s No “Right” Way
How to Masturbate Without Porn Good news: You don’t need it!
How to Masturbate If You Have a Penis: 9 Tips and Techniques
Our Favorite Porn That’s Both Sexy and Ethical
What’s the Difference Between Arousal, Desire, and Attraction?
How to Make Love to a Woman | Sex and Relationship Coach | Caitlin V In this video Caitlin addresses 4 stages of lovemaking.
Next-Generation Of SexTech Entrepreneurs Is Here, Disrupting The $37 Billion Sexual Wellness Market
The Journal of Sexual Medicine This is a resource for information.
What Actually is Sex? A Hannah Witton video. There is more than PIV, even solo sex. Also she does mention 6 principals of healthy sex: 1. Consent, 2. Non-exploitive, 3. Protection from STI’s, HIV, and pregnancy, 4. Honesty, 5. Shared values, 6. Mutual pleasure.
How to Send Nudes with Ruby Rare! An informative video from Hannah Witton’s sex education channel. They are sex educators and have some wonderful insights. This is definitely in a relationship context, also it may answer some questions about when and how, and of course getting consent.
My 14-Year-Old Daughter Watched Porn And It Changed Our Lives In Ways I Never Imagined She assumed this would be a conversation with her son when he got older. “With girls, well, I don’t even know what it’s like, because our culture so rarely addresses or talks about why girls might want to look at porn ― or when and why it might be useful for them to do so versus when and why it can be damaging.” “After that night, she seemed to realize she truly could tell me anything and I would listen to her. Loving her “no matter what” became more than words to her.” They survived and went on to have even more conversations. How you handle situations is important. My sister got our dad a smart phone, and I’m more afraid I’m going to have to have conversations like this with my parents who don’t understand how to communicate.
I Don’t Accommodate Uncontrolled Men
Sex education often leaves out queer people. Here’s what to know
Why is women’s sexual health so understudied? The clitoris has been understudied. Sexual health is health.
Christian nationalists – wanting to put God into US government This is scary, and I have a degree in theology. This is definitely part of the radical far-right populous Republicans made up of white nationalists, white supremacists, racist, bigots, evangelicals, and more playing together. Also note that the evangelicals have been pushing out moderates for a long while. The Southern Baptists have been pushing out moderates since the 70’s and 80’s. That’s when those in the “silent majority” movement were gaslighting the Christian church people into thinking anyone and any ideology they opposed as being liberal, thus driving out/closeting the moderate conservatives and centrist progressives. In reality the so called Christian nationalism is so far away from the actual teachings of Jesus. The push for such atrocious beliefs is really based on the bigots who are fearful of change.
Teen girls and LGBTQ+ youth plagued by violence and trauma, survey says This information is from the CDC in 2023.
Social media companies face legal scrutiny over deteriorating mental health among teens
Teenage girls experiencing record high levels of sadness, violence and trauma, CDC says Something else to consider is the rise in misogyny and bigotry from white nationalists, white supremacists, evangelicals, hate groups, and more.
Can pastors please stop salivating over women’s bodies in sermons? A response to Jonathan Pokluda’s objectification of the ‘perfect’ woman “Sociologist Sarah Diefendorf notes how Christian men often seem to relish describing their struggles with lusting over women’s bodies, as if such assertions are a way to assure us of their manliness.” They are weirdly bragging about their manhood by boasting. “That’s what we found in our survey of 20,000 primarily evangelical women for our book The Great Sex Rescue. When women internalize the idea that all men struggle with lust, they find it harder to trust their husbands — even if their husbands did not show any untrustworthy behaviours. And women who attend churches that promulgate these messages also are more likely to be frequently uncomfortable about how their husbands leer at other women in public.” “These messages appear to provide tacit approval for inappropriate male behavior. We’re told husbands crave anonymous sex so much that we constantly will live under the threat of his temptation to blow up our marriages, just praying he’s strong enough to withstand, because we can’t expect him to be content with only us. That makes marriage inherently insecure.” “In social media polls I’ve conducted, just over 60% of women said they felt more sexually unsafe at church than in the workplace.” Women are tired of this as the author states: “And we’re tired of being framed as the dangerous ones when we’re the ones in danger.” Instead of learning from the mistake, he double downed when he said he was being attacked.
Boebert announces she’ll be a 36-year-old grandmother when her 17-year-old son’s partner gives birth Oh the irony… She boasts her Christian values means she’s against sex education and reproductive health. Evangelicals push for abstinence and teaching abstinence only instead of a comprehensive sex education. Yet here is another example of abstinence only teaching not actually working as intended. It’s as if they just want to run on such positions and force such views on everyone else, yet it’s not a reflection of reality, there’s a big disconnect with reality. It’s elitism, wanting to impose such views on others while they don’t follow the same. This is a minor impregnating another minor. He’s going to be 18 soon and that’s going to be a whole other scenario when he needs to be around his minor baby momma. There’s nothing about what the girl is considering with her parents, she may need to make decisions that don’t reflect the boy’s or Boebert’s values. When Boebert and other conservatives want to call something as being grooming in culture wars, here is an actual example of a family grooming for teenage pregnancy, there’s a huge disconnect between what she argues for in public and as a politician versus what actually happens in her family. Also note that this is also outside of marriage. This is another example of why purity culture is so dysfunctional, reality sets in. There are countless stories of pastors kids getting pregnant, and even that the kids from teenage pregnancy end up having a baby when they are teenagers, one could say they are being groomed for this. We need discussions when we do something wrong. The one sided views of the conservatives/evangelicals means they are presenting what not to do rather than explanations and discussions found in critical thinking. Jesus wasn’t good for goodness sake, he had integrity and did good because it was the right thing to do rather than for a show or to get a blessing in return. Boebert is a prime example of one who burdens people with rules and is worthless because she doesn’t help them, among many things she opposes one is calling for the cutting of the funding of a clinic that helps people with necessary supplies and exams at reasonable prices much below for-profit clinics. Racists/white supremacists are afraid their tax money or even tithes for that matter to go to people of color or even the poor so they make sure their conservative party doesn’t support social safety nets that could benefit people. These kids are going to need a lot of love and support, not all families have a mom/grandma with lobbyist money to oppose the very social safety nets that would help ordinary people during times like this.
A misogynist wrote this article and it’s very selfish, very bad. https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/sex-wont-save-you/ The hyper-masculine misogynistic selfish author assumes his orgasm in his wife is the way to show the utmost love and relates it to how Jesus loves the church when entering a church. Someone forgot to tell the author that the allegorical interpretation of the Song of Songs/Solomon as being a poem about how Jesus loves the church is actually a rouse so it can be kept in the Bible since it is actually a love poem/prose between lovers, the allegorical interpretation is not for basing your relationship to you wife or salvation in the church. Back when monks and copyists were hand copying the Bible as someone read the words aloud to the group, the notes in margins suggest that Song of Songs/Solomon was popular and looked forward to, they knew what was up with that. The Bible is full of euphemisms, metaphors, and other ways to soften the harsh realities of life for a broad audience, the author here is taking the English language equivalent literally. He takes into the wife as a literal entering the wife with his member rather than a common euphemism that meant a host of private intimate possibilities. Jesus was referred to as a literal thief in the night, not meant as a literal thief, just a characteristic analogy. The misaligned author suggests the wife’s vagina is the holiest place, and ejaculation is the highest way to show love, he’s being literal not allegorical/metaphorical. Tell your wife that and you will be riding the unicycle, sleeping on the couch, being familiar with a sock, and many other solo activities. Oh, where to begin to unpack how bad that is, and that someone thought it was ok to publish especially on the first day of women’s history month. The author is not connecting to his wife emotionally, he’s not even considering her needs. He didn’t learn anything from what led to divorce in his previous marriage, he’s not doing well in this marriage if it lasts much longer. Communication is the key and is absolutely necessary.
10 years behind in purity culture dating years So relatable, Kristina is learning about the fall out from the purity culture disaster. I relate so hard to the comedic outlet. I started this post nearly 10 years ago. Swipe right lol…
I’m one of the female pastors on the SBC’s hit list This shouldn’t be happening, it’s all about power and they are trying to intimidate her.
‘Platonic’ is more full-circle friendship than love triangle, and it’s better that way This is a review of a streaming tv show. Platonic relationships get overlooked so often and presented wrong in productions, apparently for dramatic effect it is written to turn into something else. People of the opposite sex or even those of non-binary gender can just be friends, despite cliches or toxic expectations. Draconian ideas say men and women can’t be friends. The outside pressure to make it something else can be damaging, and highly frustrating. It is enough to be friends, and it does hurt when people move on. Communication is important, even if it means checking in from time to time to make sure changes in feelings occur, also it is tough to loose best friends when they divert attention to the significant other. Often in rural areas platonic relationships get overlooked because there’s a limit to interactions and archaic ideas seem to think any relationship must mean coupling off since there’s a lack of options. In urban areas it’s easier to have platonic relationships. Suburban and urban sprawl areas can have it’s own challenges. Anyway, those outside the platonic relationships shouldn’t “ship” those involved into something they didn’t sign up for.
For SBC, 1984 was the year of the pivot This tracks. The rise of the fundamentalist views also were in conjugation with the rise of white christian nationalism. I had a professor who was concerned with Hemphill being replaced as president of Southwestern Baptist Seminary, he saw the same things happening when they replaced Dilday. For me, I was hoping for the progressive views to be at Southwestern, I was done with classes when they replaced Hemphill with Patterson. I don’t think I knew the extent of it then, but didn’t care for Patterson, I didn’t go to Southeastern because of him being there, I wasn’t going to have Patterson’s name on my diploma, the signs of his segregationist racism was there, he was eventually removed for his handling of money and book deals that they just couldn’t avoid. Anyway, purity culture popped up during this time since it was one of the fundamentalist views of ultra-conservatives used to instill patriarchy into evangelicals rather than equality for all as in the term egalitarian. When the SBC changed it’s take on women in ministry officially in 2000, I remember a conversation with a lady trying to explain it, I just couldn’t see women not being able to preach and lead, the Bible was full of women leading despite a suppressed society so given a chance women can thrive in all ministry roles. The draconian rules need to stop.
WALKING IN ON YOUR TEEN MASTURBATING … What to Do? What to Say? | How to Talk About Masturbation This is informative. Respect their boundaries. This will need to be talked about. Also as a side note this might be a good time to discuss when and where to take care of needs., and mention where not to such as in public and common areas.
Looking for ‘nomance’: Study finds teens want less sex in their TV and movies Before you get excited, the researchers surveying 13-24 year olds didn’t ask about seeking sex/pornographic in other media besides movies/TV. The thinking here is that they are bombarded by sexual content and are actually wanting to see more platonic relationships. People need a break from hypersexuality, toxic masculinity, patriarchy, and rape culture. On a side note, at one job as a teen, the women were constantly talking about sex, everything from when periods started to one’s water broke while having sex with her husband, that was mostly just realities as they talked frankly, it was cool to learn to break the stigmas. Of course a few odd characters at same job offered plans to watch porn at their house, I probably wondered why since I could rent something R-rated. It was a relief to discover and seek out platonic relationships.
Why is There a Backlash against Sex Ed in Schools? Hannah Witton is a sex educator in the UK, but the video reflects much of the same experiences in the US.
3 secret oral sex tips she wants you to know (make her orgasm every time)! Let her take her time. Also consent has to happen. Women often have to endure annoying behavior such as sexual activities focusing the male pleasure, and then having to take care of her needs by herself. Rechargeable batteries may be required. It takes time for women to relax and eventually be ready for penetration, she’ll let you know.
How dirty the purity culture really is
White Women’s Bodies and the Dilemma of Purity Culture Recovery “Sexual purity teaches that women and girls are sexually passive and disinterested in sex, while men and boys are sexually aggressive and over-interested. As others have noted, this permits a rape culture within Christianity—the idea that sexual assault is a natural outgrowth of God-given gender roles.”
Elizabeth Smart Is Standing Up for Rape Victims—And Tearing Down Purity Culture So many good quotes. “It’s so stressed that girls in particular tie their worth to their virginity, or, for lack of a better word, purity.” Even with the trauma of rape, she endured abstinence only classes. “I did make that promise to myself that I was going to wait until marriage before I had sex… Well, then I was kidnapped and I was raped, and one of the first thoughts I had was, No one is ever going to want to marry me now: I’m worthless, I’m filthy, I’m dirty. I think every rape survivor feels those same feelings, but having that with the pressure of faith compounded on top—it was almost crippling.” No rape victim should be subjected to such cruelty. Even women who have had sex shouldn’t be subjected to this cruelty, it’s no one else’s business. Smart has been challenging the sexist teachings. The analogies often used to describe those who have sex as being less that worthy is so damaging. In her church, feminists are considered taboo. “”I think there are so many different kinds of feminism—some good, some maybe too extreme—it’s a wonderful thing for women to come together, to be strong, to be independent, to have equal rights as human beings… There shouldn’t be a glass ceiling,” she says, sort of talking around the question. “At the same time, I like it when a man holds the door open for me, and I like it when I’m treated like a lady. I mean… I’m married, I have a husband, I have a family.”” It’s just a good practice to open or hold the door for people.
The Negative Implications of the Purity Movement on Young Women
Why Purity Culture is Toxic: A Female Perspective
Decolonizing Purity Culture: Gendered Racism and White Idealization in Evangelical Christianity
Purity, perfection and feminist leadership
Purity Culture and Its Effect on Mental Health “Purity culture impacts how people see themselves and creates systems of internalized and externalized oppression, shame, and judgment that can restrict sexual agency and exacerbate rape culture, racism, and misogyny.” ““Men are taught that their sexuality is something that cannot be tamed, and that they need to do everything in their power to try to not not look at women because God forbid they look at a woman or they’re left alone with a woman then their sex drive is going to become out of control.”” ““There is a hesitancy or a fear that if we speak about certain things, we’re going to speak it into existence. And I’m sure that is pervasive amongst all cultures … I think that we need to shift away from that and realize that our kids are going to do what they’re going to do because of how we parent them, because of their exposures in society, not because we had a talk with them,” she says.” “There are serious mental health implications for people impacted by purity culture, including but not limited to: religious trauma syndrome, feeling ashamed of your body, sexuality or gender identity, feeling controlled or pressured to behave in rigid ways with limiting rules, and a warping of one’s worldview that can reduce autonomy and increase shame and stress. Mayderry says these sorts of issues stem from “perpetuating cycles of shame” that exist within purity culture.” Sex education is replaced with slut shaming. ““Women are often taught in purity culture that they are supposed to be responsible for averting the male gaze, and if they receive unsolicited attention from that, that it is their fault. And it is a very harmful, vicious cycle of shame that can take a very long time to undo.”” “While toxic masculinity is deeply embedded into many cultures and traditions, evangelical purity culture, with its heavy focus on the policing of women’s bodies and actions, can lead men to problematic behaviors. Mayderry says that, in her experience, this type of upbringing can develop into abusive behavior.” ““I think that can lead to aggression, a lack of impulse control, and making excuses for behavior that is not at all acceptable … I think toxic masculinity is kind of a larger cultural narrative, but I think a lack of accountability and normalization of acting on impulse [is part of purity culture].” “She also says that where women are socialized to feel at fault if someone shows romantic interest in them, men are taught another extreme.” ““Men are taught that their sexuality is something that cannot be tamed, and that they need to do everything in their power to try to not not look at women because God forbid they look at a woman or they’re left alone with a woman then their sex drive is going to become out of control.”” A man can and should be in control of his actions, just because you are aroused does not mean she owes you anything.
Men who can’t control themselves, or US Purity Culture’s utter lack of a concept of Love-Making…
Recordings show how the Mormon church protects itself from child sex abuse claims This is so cringe, they enabled abusers. This article is going to be triggering, what’s described here is sickening and sadly someone suffered through it.
A guide to having sex with a virgin: Sex Coach Advice Caitlyn V gives some key advice. Take your time, for PNV make sure she’s ready mentally and physically.
How to Lose Your Virginity Sex coach Caitlyn V gives 10 tips in another video.
A program helps Ukraine’s veterans find sexual healing after the trauma of war
Masturbation abstinence is popular online. Doctors and therapists are worried This trend seems to be a money maker for the founders. There are conspiracy theories, misogyny, sexism, racism, anti-semitism, anti-feminism, and more such rhetoric in the chatrooms. A comprehensive sex education would do better than this. “Beyond the potential psychological or financial harms, other scholars who’ve studied online masturbation abstinence communities often find they contain a lot of anger toward women.”
EP 232 – Dr. Ramani Durvasula “Want to learn how to spot a narcissist before they wreak havoc on your life??” “Join us for some expert tips and tricks on identifying those toxic personalities in your midst – trust me, you won’t want to miss this! Gaslighting and emotional manipulation are powerful tools used by toxic individuals to control and manipulate others. It’s important to recognize the signs and break free from their grasp. Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness. Don’t let anyone dim your light. Don’t let toxic relationships drain your energy and happiness! Look out for red flags like controlling behavior, manipulation, lack of respect, and constant negativity.” The Narcissistic C-Suite On her YouTube playlists are categories for topics related to narcissist. Toxic relationships are bad for those involved and for the affect such personalities have on those around them. Narcissistic people think their religious views have to be forced on those around them or on the nation. For decades we’ve seen toxic masculinity being thrown to the forefront of society. Extremist talking heads have been bad mouthing anything they oppose such as feminism, women’s rights, LGBTQIA, immigration, civil rights, general freedom known as liberalism, and more.
A feminist is not someone angry or disgruntled or complaining or rioting or picketing. Women and men should have equal rights and opportunities, that’s feminism.
Sex education ‘is under attack’ by a wave of proposed legislation, advocate warns “17 states provide abstinence only sex education.” “And so far this year at least 135 bills pertaining to sexual education have been introduced, or are in place nationally, a majority of which would place restrictions on sexual education in public schools “Comprehensive sex education means teaching a wide variety of topics in grades K through 12, including topics like consent, understanding what boundaries are and how to decide where your personal boundaries are self-esteem, anti-bullying, healthy relationships, how to stay safe online.” “And of course, the things that most people usually think of when they think of sex education, which is like puberty, contraception, and STI prevention. There’s also a wealth of research that shows that kids who get this sort of comprehensive sex education and start in elementary school build on those skills through middle and high school are more likely to foster healthy relationships, have better social emotional skills, respect sexual and gender diversity, and prevent unintended pregnancy and STI transmission when they do become sexually active.” “An elementary school consent covers topics like how to ask before taking a snack from someone else’s lunchbox, or how to respect another person’s decision not to want to be hugged. In middle school, learning about consent includes talking about peer pressure, learning assertive communication skills, thinking about your own boundaries, and learning to respect the boundaries of others.” “In high school, we talk about consent during sex, we talk about thinking about what we ourselves would like getting clear on our own wants and dislikes and being a good listener making space for a partner to communicate their wants and needs, and being able to say no, and also to respect someone else’s. Now, it also talks about how to continually check in to make sure that everyone feels safe as the relationship evolves.” “It’s really important to understand that sex education is under attack. And it is under attack by the same groups that are trying to ban books stop trans youth from being able to play sports or use the bathroom that they need, and the same groups that are trying to ban teaching accurate history. The bands are all connected, and which tells us that these groups are actually working to exert power and control our kids. They are not trying to keep kids safe and healthy.”
3 women open up about their decision to be celibate Amateurs!!! There are plenty of people who go long stretches without sex because it just doesn’t happen as easily as what these ladies have been through. The premise is that they are tired of the dating treadmill feeling as if they can’t be solo and have to have someone, so they are choosing to be celibate instead of the endless dating hook-up culture cycle. Some people go from relationship to relationship without taking the time to just be themselves and find out more about themselves as a single person, even not actually connecting deeper emotionally. Hook-up culture seems to be trying to normalize a type-A extrovert lifestyle of conquests as if it’s expected for everyone else. These are learning boundaries by being celibate, they are learning they don’t have to give in to perceived social expectations. Those who naturally wait to have sex as long as possible have already figured out that growing healthy relationships is important too. It may be implied that these women were sexually active based trying to keep up with outside pressure and expectations that sex is expected. You can’t choose to make someone else celibate, this is a personal decision and having the best information is helpful.
Gen Z Is Having Less Sex. Why?
Why are younger Americans having less sex? Technology could be playing a role It’s safer to engage with online options than risk pregnancy and diseases and overstepping boundaries.
Gen Z is afraid of sex — and for good reason “Sherman: When I talk to young people, straight ones who are worried about getting pregnant or impregnating somebody else, they were petrified. And I think that feeling that people are now going to face a kind of punishment for sex, because they’ll be forced to have kids that they don’t want — I think that is really rife within Gen Z. And that contributes to this overall miasma of anxiety and fear around sex that really doesn’t lead people to want to have it.” “Sherman: I think we’ve already seen a political harnessing of the narrative that Gen Zers are sexless. We’ve seen talk from the Trump administration about wanting to raise the birth rate, for example. And so it’s impossible to disentangle that pronatal impulse from this idea that young people are not having enough sex. I think the narrative of the sex recession is being used to basically say by the right, “Oh, gender roles have irretrievably broken down. The American family is in chaos — we need to reinstate a more hierarchical sexual order where we prioritize or even compel people into sex that is straight, that is married and that is potentially procreative because it’s being practiced without access to abortion or access to hormonal birth control.””
Daniel Whitaker's Blog 
Thank you for including a link to my blog post.
Thanks for writing it, seems I’ve been collecting posts and articles lately and wanted to remember it.
I came here from the “Naked and Ashamed” article over at The Other Journal. If you read my post there, you’ll see the dire consequences this can have for an adolescent male, since that is a crucial stage in life where the psychology therein is being shaped and molded, often for the rest of his life. God is trying to lift this burden off my shoulders; He’s got his work cut out for Him.
You also hinted around something worth noting too. The leaders and cheerleaders of the Purity Movement are self-righteous hypocrites who, I believe, have a desire for today’s youth to be as miserable and repressed as they are. In other words, they’re modern-day Pharisees. And from what I gather, Jesus didn’t seem to be crazy about them.
There is so much more to write about. Basically there is still more work to be done on teaching to love God and to love others. There is a lot of beating up on either side of this issue and other issues… http://jenhatmaker.com/blog/2014/04/02/where-i-stand
Thanks for the shout-out, Daniel. I appreciate the list of resources you’ve puled together here.
Tim
I had been wondering if it was too much as I add to this blog over time, but there are a lot of hurting people. Maybe a few different perspectives will help someone in some way.
Through our years and years and ye….. you get the point, of friendship I have shared some of my innermost thoughts with you. This information hits the nail on the head. The way I grew up, is unfortunately the way it still is around these parts. My husband and I are of the minority of our peers in teaching our son to embrace a healthy sexuality. Permit porn, no. Accept that it’s natural to be curious, yes. Discuss what a healthy sexual relationship is with another human, yes. Teach that people are not meat, yes. Share damaging effects that pornography can have on ‘our’ brains. Not just his, ours. As things come up, we share openly and speak candidly about the topic of sex. It’s not taboo, it’s not dirty, it’s not wrong, it’s life, passion and hopefully for our son will be of love.
My desire is for him to follow God’s plan and be the healthy lover of one woman… Will he? I don’t know. I pray for it, but I will not be disappointed, nor shaming if he makes the choice to experience sex before marriage, as I did. I will not require him to stand before a congregation and apologize to humans for doing what comes natural to us, as I had to. Not because of sex, but because I got caught, became pregnant. – Had I not gotten pregnant, I would have never had to apologize to my church. Rabbit trail.
As a family we will continue to do our best, as the adults in my life did… The different approach in parenting a hormonal teenage boy, has isolated us from the self righteous folk who cast judgment to divert attention from their own skeletons.
Thank you for this blog. I’m glad to know, once again, that I am not alone in the fight.
It’s been a long journey… There is so much being written by some wonderful authors. There is so much more to learn.
Thank you for including my post in this! It means a lot to me to see my story reach new people and help raise awareness about how purity culture had such a negative impact and how it can contribute to the development of eating disorders, or at least to body image issues.
Thank you for writing, the more I research the more I see that there are numerous affects… Hopefully something positive with happen.